I should wear a hard hat every day these days. I am definitely a work in progress and definitely under construction. The thing is, when you are close to something, you don't always see the change.
I have a sweet, sweet friend who've I've known for some time now. We met at a totally different time in both our lives. She was pregnant with her first and we were years from having kids. We weren't instant best friends but over the years, she's grown into someone that I trust with all of me. I can tell her anything and know that she is not judging me or going to someone else and telling them what I've said. She is the best kind of friend you can find.
We don't live in the same city anymore, or state for that matter, so we don't get to talk as often as I'd like. The thing is, when we do talk, it is like not a day has gone by. We, of course catch up on kids (she has 3, I have 2) and husbands and life in general, but there is something about her that I can divulge my deepest, darkest struggles and pains, and she listens. It takes a special friend to do that.
Well, today I got to talk to her for a long time. We get to see each other in a week, so we were making plans for massages and facials but then talked about the nitty gritty of life. (We're going to need Kleenex next weekend!) I have to say that I'm so looking forward to sitting with someone, spending a weekend with a friend that will not just agree with me. She will challenge me, as she did today, call me out (nicely), speak truth. She sent me a sweet message after we spoke and told me that she can see a change in me - a change in my heart. That circumstances didn't always seem to change, but my reaction to them had. It was what I needed to hear today. God knew that. I'm pretty sure he ordained the phone call and gave Will a little extra listening power so I didn't have to yell and scream when I was on the phone. I knew there was some work being done but like I said early, I couldn't see it.
I wrote her back and said this,
"I will definitely take that as a compliment. I feel different but can't put my finger on it, but you did. I can see that in both of us. I think of conversations past and the tone, the outcome would have been different. Less faith, less trust, more trying to do it on our own. Wow. What a season - sometimes I feel like it has been one LONG winter. So glad that God is there. That he is in it."
I added that I've spent a lot of time lately looking out - at my circumstances, that I am not looking in, at myself and what I need to do differently. Sometimes it is SO easy to blame someone else that we neglect where we have gone wrong. The need to be right, outweighs what is right.
So, I am still a work in progress. I am so thankful for my sweet friend and her words to me - and that they came during a week I've been battling my insecurities. My prayer is that I can continue to look in and up and just listen. I'm still learning how to do this and I'll never be perfect at it but I'm working on it.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Thursday, December 6, 2012
The Truck is Coming...
My friend, Corie, wrote a really great, heartfelt, and convicting blog post the other day. You can read it here. Not only does she have something great to say but she is so very eloquent in saying it. Not only should you keep reading this post, you should go and read hers (because she probably said it better than I will).
What really got me about her post was the story about Penn Jillette and his video blog post that you can see here. He basically talks about a man who approached him after a show and gave him a Bible (or part of one) and goes on and on about what a good, nice, kind man this was. What strikes me is when he talks about those of us who believe in heaven and hell and how we aren't saying anything to those around us who might not be headed to heaven - he says, "How much do you have to hate someone?" I've got to tell you there are people that aren't easy for me to get a long with but that doesn't mean I want to see them spend eternity in hell. He also talks about a truck. If there was a truck coming and it was going to hit you, I would push you out of the way to save your life. This analogy really hit home to me - like, plane terms, wow, I never thought of it that way - hit home.
So, here's what I have to say. I'm sorry if I've never said anything to you. To be honest I haven't said a lot to anyone. Why? Well, mostly because I thought my actions would show someone the love of Jesus and they'd just ask me. Let's be honest though - I'm not perfect (nor do I claim to be). I'm going to mess up as is every other Christian you'll meet. None of us are perfect and we all have our struggles and demons. Another reason? Because I'm afraid. Seriously, lame excuse. I guess I've felt indirectly attacked for my conservative, Bible based beliefs so I was afraid. I see what society says about people like me so I've hunkered down and kept to myself. Well, here's where I say I care too much about what happens to you to be afraid. God is alive and well. He gave the greatest gift of all, his son, so that we all could spend eternity with him in Heaven - a place where there is no crying, no pain, no fear - picture bliss, true happiness.
If you've gone to church even once in your life, you've probably heard or read John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." God sent Jesus to save us. You have to believe in Jesus, and hopefully if you celebrate Christmas you do. He's the reason we celebrate, right?
If you've got that step, the next is to just start talking to him. Get to know Jesus. Read about him. If you don't have a bible and want one, I'll get you one - please ask! John 10:9 says "I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved." Despite what many may say or believe, Jesus is the only way to heaven. If you have decided that you do believe that Jesus is the way then ask him to take up residence in you, start a relationship with him - a real, personal, relationship. He doesn't want what you think you should say, he wants you - the good, the bad, and the ugly. He will fill you and that hole inside of you if you'll let him. He will begin to change your life from the inside out.
One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11-13, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." So here's one of the things about being a Christian - it doesn't mean your life is going to be a cake walk, but it does mean you have someone to walk with you and carry you when it gets difficult. Everyone faces problems, trials, periods of time where nothing seems to go right. God knows it and he'll help you through it. He doesn't promise it will be easy though. The bold part is the best because it assures us, when we seek God, we will find him! He won't hide!
Ok, so let me try to bring this one to a close...if you are someone who doesn't believe in God, what if you're wrong? Why not give the God thing a try for a month? I mean, really give it a try, start praying every day for 30 days. Prayers don't have to be rehearsed or elaborate. Consider it a conversation. Tell him what you did that day, what bothered you, what your fears are, what you're thankful for. Write in a journal for the month and see if anything changes. If nothing in your life changes, then you can go about your normal routine (but I'll still be praying for you). What if something does change, though? You'll never know if you don't try.
If you do believe in God and feel like you don't know where to go, talk to me or someone else. Head to your friend's church on Sunday. You have someone who will talk to you and offer help. Like my friend, Corie said, I can't guarantee that we'll have all the answers but we'll try. Please, the truck is coming at some point and I don't want you to get hit! I am saying this because I love you and your life depends on it.
What really got me about her post was the story about Penn Jillette and his video blog post that you can see here. He basically talks about a man who approached him after a show and gave him a Bible (or part of one) and goes on and on about what a good, nice, kind man this was. What strikes me is when he talks about those of us who believe in heaven and hell and how we aren't saying anything to those around us who might not be headed to heaven - he says, "How much do you have to hate someone?" I've got to tell you there are people that aren't easy for me to get a long with but that doesn't mean I want to see them spend eternity in hell. He also talks about a truck. If there was a truck coming and it was going to hit you, I would push you out of the way to save your life. This analogy really hit home to me - like, plane terms, wow, I never thought of it that way - hit home.
So, here's what I have to say. I'm sorry if I've never said anything to you. To be honest I haven't said a lot to anyone. Why? Well, mostly because I thought my actions would show someone the love of Jesus and they'd just ask me. Let's be honest though - I'm not perfect (nor do I claim to be). I'm going to mess up as is every other Christian you'll meet. None of us are perfect and we all have our struggles and demons. Another reason? Because I'm afraid. Seriously, lame excuse. I guess I've felt indirectly attacked for my conservative, Bible based beliefs so I was afraid. I see what society says about people like me so I've hunkered down and kept to myself. Well, here's where I say I care too much about what happens to you to be afraid. God is alive and well. He gave the greatest gift of all, his son, so that we all could spend eternity with him in Heaven - a place where there is no crying, no pain, no fear - picture bliss, true happiness.
If you've gone to church even once in your life, you've probably heard or read John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." God sent Jesus to save us. You have to believe in Jesus, and hopefully if you celebrate Christmas you do. He's the reason we celebrate, right?
If you've got that step, the next is to just start talking to him. Get to know Jesus. Read about him. If you don't have a bible and want one, I'll get you one - please ask! John 10:9 says "I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved." Despite what many may say or believe, Jesus is the only way to heaven. If you have decided that you do believe that Jesus is the way then ask him to take up residence in you, start a relationship with him - a real, personal, relationship. He doesn't want what you think you should say, he wants you - the good, the bad, and the ugly. He will fill you and that hole inside of you if you'll let him. He will begin to change your life from the inside out.
One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11-13, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." So here's one of the things about being a Christian - it doesn't mean your life is going to be a cake walk, but it does mean you have someone to walk with you and carry you when it gets difficult. Everyone faces problems, trials, periods of time where nothing seems to go right. God knows it and he'll help you through it. He doesn't promise it will be easy though. The bold part is the best because it assures us, when we seek God, we will find him! He won't hide!
Ok, so let me try to bring this one to a close...if you are someone who doesn't believe in God, what if you're wrong? Why not give the God thing a try for a month? I mean, really give it a try, start praying every day for 30 days. Prayers don't have to be rehearsed or elaborate. Consider it a conversation. Tell him what you did that day, what bothered you, what your fears are, what you're thankful for. Write in a journal for the month and see if anything changes. If nothing in your life changes, then you can go about your normal routine (but I'll still be praying for you). What if something does change, though? You'll never know if you don't try.
If you do believe in God and feel like you don't know where to go, talk to me or someone else. Head to your friend's church on Sunday. You have someone who will talk to you and offer help. Like my friend, Corie said, I can't guarantee that we'll have all the answers but we'll try. Please, the truck is coming at some point and I don't want you to get hit! I am saying this because I love you and your life depends on it.
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