My Experience

A hot topic lately has been depression.  I'm going to add my story to the mix.

I know depression.  Although I have never been formally diagnosed and I have never had thoughts of suicide and never had a plan, I know depression.  It is a dark, dark place.  Where it is black as the darkest night and the walls are closing in around you.  It is a place where you don't want to crawl out of bed.  Where it takes you twice as long to do a task.  It is debilitating.  It is suffocating.

For me, it probably started as Seasonal Affective Disorder because if you live in Indiana, you know that sun doesn't make regular appearances in the winter.  I could make it through the winter and get to spring and it would get better.  I prepared myself for this every year.  Let's get the gloves, hats, scarves, and extra bedding out, because that is where I'll want to be.  In my bed.  I was unproductive and generally just felt like I was watching life happen around me.  I didn't engage a whole lot because I didn't have anything to give.  This last winter was brutal and no wonder I was depressed, the snow and cold and countless school cancellations were awful.  But spring came and things got a little better or at least I thought they had.  Then summer came and I was exhausted all the time.  Again.  I wanted to just get through the day.  Again.  I wanted someone else to do my mom jobs.  Again.  This was more than SAD, this was something I needed help with.  But that shaming voice came in and said, "No, I can handle it.  I always have.  I don't need help."

I had a dear friend share her story with me.  The part of the story you need to know is that she described how she felt after taking medication (for depression) and said she'd wondered what the last few years would have been like if she would have done something about it earlier.  That voice (shame) chimed in and said "That is really great for her, but you're good."

Weeks, maybe a month later, her words were ringing in my ears and I decided I would talk to my doctor at an already scheduled appointment.  In the meantime, I had this essential oil that was supposed to help with "stuff like that."  I started applying the oil just to the bottoms of my feet (because I couldn't stand the smell of it).  I did that every morning for a few weeks and noticed a change.  I felt different, like I could see and think clearly.  Like I went from fuzzy black and white to high definition.  It was what I needed and it was working.  Appropriately, it is a blend of oils, called Joy.  It was just the joy I needed.  I now apply it on the bottoms of my feet and just over my heart.

Here's the point to me sharing this.  Depression happens to more than we realize.  And ladies, it is twice as common for us as it is for men.  Depression, for some, is not something you can just pray your way out of.  I 100% believe that my God is a God who heals people, who performs miracles.  I have seen some great healing even in the last few years.  But, I also believe that God made really smart people to create things to help combat different diseases.  There is medication, happy lights, and essential oils to name a few.  Of course diet and exercise play into it but when you are depressed it feels like you are wearing a weight vest and walking through sand, and when you do those things you are exhausted.  All. the. time.  I knew what I "needed" to do but doing it was quite another thing.

If you are struggling with depression, TELL SOMEONE.  Do not go it alone.  Evil plays a part in this and whispers lies (remember my shaming voice?).  Even now, I am questioning what I write.  What will people think?  What will they say?  Will they still be my friend?  Are they going to make fun of me?  This is all shame and has no place in your life or mine.  You should not be ashamed of this.  As soon as you tell someone, the voices get quieter.  It is not a secret that shame can hold over your head anymore.  Tell someone.    Life is not to be set on cruise control.  Life is to be lived and if you are depressed it is hard to do that.

And if you are the someone being told, just listen.  It is not yours to fix.  You need to understand that this is out of that person's control but telling someone brings freedom.  Be the person to offer freedom.  Then, pray with them.  That they would be healed, that they would seek the help they need.  Sometimes Christians are the worst critics.  Maybe that is why so many think we are so hypocritical.  We can combat that and just show people Jesus.  Guys, he hung out with all those that were cast out.  He didn't hang out with the popular crowd.  He would have hung out with me at my lowest.  He would have talked with me like he did the woman at the well.  He would have been there to offer a hand and help me up in the right direction.  Let's show people freedom.  Let's go there.  Be understanding, educated yourself on depression, and understand that you  can't just "snap out of it."

I am now seeing the other side of depression and there is life to live!  Be honest with yourself, think about what you might need.  What is the best route for you?  Do you need to see a doctor?  There is NO shame in that.  No part of this is one size fits all.  God made us all unique so you find the help you need.  There are people to help you.  I will help you.  I just cannot begin to tell you about the life and freedom that are on the other side.  Words do not give it justice.  It is beautiful, like all of your favorite things rolled into one and it doesn't matter if it is raining outside because life is good!!