An Argument for Home Schooling

Yesterday I almost yanked my sweet girl out of school to home school her.

Let me start by saying I firmly believe that home schooling is the best option for some and there are parents who are meant to home school their kids. I am not one of them. My girl needs someone else to direct her learning. I am more than happy to use my former teacher skills with homework and many other things but there would be some arguing, some laughing, but many tears shed if I were to home school her. (Just being a realist here.)

With that being said, I was ready to throw all my "I know this isn't a good idea" thoughts out the window and bring her home to her mama! The transition to kindergarten has been rough. I anticipated the tiredness and her hearing things we'd rather not have her hear. She has a natural attitude as she thinks she was born much earlier than the date on her birth certificate. (I try to remind her that the date is correct...I was there, I remember.) This attitude needs to be tamed at times but it is what makes her my girl. It is was drives her to learn. It is what makes her unique and quirky. It is what has given her the vocabulary and the verbal skills she has. This attitude has grown.

Yesterday when her always kind, never rambunctious (HA!) younger brother smacked her in the face she gave him a look that could kill and said "I hate him when he does that." In my head I was thinking, "oh no you didn't!" Shockingly, I remained calm (100% because my neighbor and her sweet boy were sitting in the office with us) and said "excuse me?" because surely I hadn't heard her correctly. And then like she was rehearsing a play came those seven words again, followed by a "we don't say that and you need to go to your room" from her mama.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! At that very moment I thought, I'm done. I was a public school teacher and am all for a public education but my girl is staying home. (Keep in mind that this was not the first thing that she has said since starting school.) Right here was the argument for home schooling. I could do it. I taught kids to read and write. I've got most of my teacher things in the basement. I was all over this.

After a conversation and an explanation of why we don't use the word "hate" she was forced to pick up her toys (GASP!) before she could do anything else. I called my mama and cried to her. I said, "I knew at one point I would have to fight for my kids but never realized it would come so soon."

That is how I feel. I have to fight for my kids. And the only way I know how is to pray and let the Lord hold me. I prayed as I checked on her before going to bed last night. I prayed as I crawled into bed. I prayed as she got dressed. I prayed as we walked to the bus. I wanted God to impart on me some wise words to pass to her before she left for school. What I heard was give her a kiss and tell her you love her. So that is what I did. I gave her a kiss, told her to have a great day, and told her I loved her.

You see, when she was born, I was incredibly thankful that she was healthy. I knew she was a gift and I knew she didn't belong to me. She was the Lord's and he was entrusting me to bring her up to know him. I've known this with both of my kids for their whole lives, but this is the first time where I don't have all the control. I am having to send her off where her teacher is in control and with 25 kids in a class, there is no way she can monitor everything that is said in the classroom or on the playground. I pray that she is a kind, compassionate little girl who learns who Jesus is and desires to have a relationship with him. I have always prayed that the Lord would start speaking to my kids now so that when he called them, they would know his voice and answer. This is my prayer. I am not in control, the Lord is. He is with her all day. He will guide her but I have to let her go and trust. I have to let God hold my sweet girl up just like he holds me. It's a promise he's made to all of us.

It's bittersweet. I am amazed at the lessons I am learning and humbled that I am being taught them by my creator but the mama in me wants to bring her home and hold her tight. I want to keep my littles in a bubble forever! God's got the bubble, not me.

If you are like me and the start of this school year has been rough, I'm praying for you! My prayer is that we can all allow God to hold us by the right hand just as he has promised and know that he is holding our kids too!