Letting Go

I've come to realize (in some ways, the hard way) that there is a whole bunch that I need to let go of.  I've always thought that by "dealing" on my own and not saying anything was best but once again the Lord has given me a good kick in the pants (lovingly, though).  I've got past hurts that deal with people, places, and probably things if I thought hard enough.  I can tell you where I was standing when someone made fun of my "monkey arms" in 7th grade.  I can tell you how, in college,  my dreams where changed because I took someone else's opinion of me rather than mine, or more importantly God's.  I can flash back to so many of these moments and relive them like I am in 7th grade all over again.

I'm starting a Captivating study next week (my 2nd one).  For those of you not familiar with it, it is a book written by John and Stasi Eldredge and if you let it, it will give you a good kick in the pants.  It is not an easy book to read as it challenges you to seek God and let him reveal some really uncomfortable parts of your life but at the same time, it is freeing and offers so much hope.  It talks about God's great story for your life.  This is what excites me about doing the study again.  Don't get me wrong, it will wreck you.  It is hard.  It is challenging.  It is life giving.  I learned that the whispers weren't me.  Those voices were all wrong.  I matter.  I am important.  God made me who I am for a specific purpose.  My hope this time around is to discover more of that purpose and to reveal more of how God sees me.

I am both excited and terrified of doing this study again, because it will definitely be a time to draw close to God and listen but it will also wreck me.  You could read the book on your own and say, "Wow, that was really good" or "Wow, that was really awful."  You have to decide whether you're going to be all in or not.  (And even if YOU decide not, God may have other plans for you.  Learned that one the hard way too!)

Anyway, this is basically a bunch of rambling.  I'll keep you posted about the study.  You may see one or more posts about being wrecked but hopefully there will be some posts about my great adventure as well!  God has some big things in store for 2013!